A little girl sat in the middle of the room, windows surrounding her. Her mom sat on the couch, and silence and anticipation filled the room. The young girl knew something was wrong, but she never expected what her mom finally admitted.
“Jaidyn, your dad committed suicide.”
Jaidyn remembers from the day she got the shocking confirmation about her dad.
That day, her mom, grandma, and sister were scattered around the large living room, but one person was clearly missing.
Jaidyn Kynaston, a sophomore here at Norrix, was just eight years old when she found out she would be living without her dad. Jaidyn’s dad suffered with paranoid schizophrenia, a mental disorder that affects the way a person thinks, acts, and sees the outside world. The very moment Jaidyn’s mom told her the news, she didn’t understand. Jaidyn’s struggled to see why her dad chose the tragic path that he did.
The website Helpguide explains that paranoid schizophrenia affects a person’s life greatly. All types of schizophrenia alter a person’s perception of reality, but most common in paranoid schizophrenia are delusions of persecution. This type of delusion occurs when the patient believes someone or a group of people are out to get them and usually common plots, with the same people, reoccur in their delusions.
Jaidyn looks back on her memories and in the short time she had with her dad she realized that his normal actions did show signs of paranoid schizophrenia even though she didn’t realize it at the time. She remembers when her dad would come to visit, meeting her at the doorstep, picking her up in his arms and greeting her. Jaidyn ‘s long naps on even longer car rides were normal when she and her dad were together. Every time they were together, he would wake her up to see the Mississippi Bridge, a memory she will never forget. She looks back on the good times with her dad, despite how those times came to an end.
After her dad’s passing, Jaidyn found herself guilt-ridden and constantly blamed herself for her dad’s actions.
“I wasn’t a perfect daughter,” she said.
The entire family was impacted by the loss, whether it was extreme guilt or sadness. While times were rough Jaidyn looked towards her mom and grandma for support, as they were her rock.
Now, years later, Jaidyn leads a different life than she did years ago. She plays women’s soccer at Norrix and runs track during the summer, a dedicated athlete year around.
Looking back, Jaidyn remembers the good memories of her dad and understands why he did what he did. She realizes he was suffering and couldn’t handle it any longer. Her dad’s death changed her, but she knows it happened for a reason. Jaidyn admitted that her relationship with her dad wasn’t all that strong, but he still was a part of her life. She will always love him, despite their long distance relationship.
“He’s my dad,” she said.