Guest Writer Jordan Taylor-Effinger
You meet a girl, you fall in love. At that moment there’s no doubt in your mind that she’s the one for you, so you get married. Everything is “perfect.” You have kids and even then, things seem like they’re all good. But after awhile it might feel like the “spark” has been lost between you and your significant other. Perhaps you’re too wrapped up in your problems that you don’t notice those problems may affect your kids just as much as they affect you.
Brandon Schnur, born in Kalamazoo, Michigan, is a typical Loy Norrix High School student. Brandon, along with half of all American children, has witnessed the breakup of their parent’s marriage.
With his mom living in Candlewyck Apartments, up the hill from the high school he attends, and his dad living in the Winchell neighborhood, Brandon is very certain that having his parents together is better than them being apart. Although the divorce happened five years ago Brandon is still suffering from the effects of their departure.
“When they [his parents] would argue I would usually get my little brother, go into my room and play videogames with him to try and take our minds off of it,” shared Schnur.
At the young age of 11, Schnur found himself having to play a huge role in his six year old brother Bryan’s life.
“My brother has been a lot angrier and sad,” said Schnur. “At the time I was more confused than anything, then later the sadness set in.”
“Children (up to about age 9) tend to respond differently to divorce than adolescents (about 9 and older). Because the child is still so dependent on and attached to parents,” said Carl E Pickhardt from “Psychology Today.”
“Seeing your parents split apart kind of changes your whole perspective on things,” said Schnur in a monotone voice.
Schnur always felt comfortable talking to his parents about how he felt, but he didn’t really share his feelings with anyone else.
Tension is still there, but Schnur explained how his parents relationship has “gotten better since the split.” Even though divorce can be a very hard thing for both kids and adults to go through, there is always something positive you can take away from the experience.