Forever alone.

Are you struggling with formal? Pesky would-be-dates keep asking you? Having trouble figuring out a way to just go by yourself? With the stigma and all of the social pressure associated with finding a date to the dance, here are a couple easy tricks to get you to the dance all by your lonesome:

1. Wear casual attire.  Not only will you not be allowed into the dance, but you will not be allowed to hold hands if you show up in your favorite graphic T, a plaid flannel, lucky sweats, and that signature pair of hiking boots you love so much. Your date is out the door. Problem solved!

2. Ask via Social Media. Do you still want to appear like you’re putting in the effort to get a date, but have no desire for one at all? Simply ask a girl on Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Instagram, or any more of the myriad of replaceable social networks. You will make her feel like you’re not worth her time, and before you know it, you have no date!

3. Play dead. Whenever someone begins to ask you to formal, simply release all muscles and let your body fall to the ground.  While it may sting the first few times, you will get used to it! (Hint: this tip would also work at formal if someone were to ask for a dance)

4. Ransom Romantic Note.  Leave a romantic note with letters cut from magazines on her locker, or in her backpack or purse! (Girls love their private space being invaded.) Say something that lets her know how special she is: “I could just eat you up,” or something of the like.

5. Surprise her with another date. It’s everyone’s favorite surprising-your-date- with-another-girl-at-the-dance move. The best way to surprise her is to occasionally make some excuse to leave then meet up with your other date. Repeat this step with your second date. Repeat these steps a few times, and eventually they’ll find you out. Surprise! You’re alone!

So buy a TV dinner and prepare your phone for lonely selfies in the bathroom mirror because Loy Norrix’s formal is this Saturday at 8:30!

Don’t forget to lose that special someone you’ve never wanted to be with, this may be your only chance.