The earth is not round. In fact, it is flat and carried on the backs of 4 elephants. But what do the elephants stand on? A giant turtle of course! I know this because of the factual and reliable book “The Light Fantastic” by Terry Pratchett, in which he proposes Discworld Theory. You should read that book and find out the truth for yourself. 

Discworld Theory is the absolute truth above all the other absolute truths. If you have any questions, I don’t care. 

When you look out into the horizon from a boat, what do you see? You see a flat horizon, because there is no curve, and it is flat and carried by a 4 elephants that are standing on the back of a giant turtle!

The most obvious piece of evidence is that when you go somewhere really high up, you don’t see the curve of the earth. 

I am 5’11”, and while standing on my tippy toes on my back porch, I observe zero curve! There is nothing else to it. Don’t bother googling pictures from mountains. Only losers would do that.  

No doubt, some CIA operatives will be sending me information and photos from the ISS attempting to disapprove my brilliant theory.  But for one thing, how can you trust the CIA? They did kill JFK after all. 

Here is a fun experiment you can do from your own boat: watch ships disappear into the horizon. They don’t sink down into the ocean, like they would if the earth was round! Everybody knows that if you sit on the beach, you can see boats sail all the way into the distance for hours. This is proven in the first 8 lines of this article from Answers in Genesis. Do not read past that. Excess reading can stress your eyes.

Now, maybe there is still some clever little government agent who thinks he knows everything, and he might tell you that he’s been on a plane and the curvature of the earth was clearly visible. This is wrong: the windows on planes are actually screens that show a fake version of the outside because they don’t want you to see the edge. This image of the view from outside a plane with actual windows proves my point! 

Now some of you may think I’m a flat earther. This is totally 100% false! But, I should go over what the earth is not:

• Round
• Flat
• Taurus shaped
• A velociraptor. 
• Christopher Aguinaga
• My ex-wife Debra. (Please come back I want to see the kids again)
• My kids. (I miss them)
• A square
• A parallelogram

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