Fries Over Guys: French Fries are Better than Boyfriends

By Cori VanOstran, guest writer.
French fries being a better option than boyfriends may seem far fetched, but imagine all the work that having a boyfriend includes and the amount of stress that it can entail. Fries are easy, they don’t ask for attention, or anything actually. French fries can be made at home and are easy to get elsewhere. French fries will not leave you, except when you eat them.
Anyone who has ever had a boyfriend knows that you will have stress and worry. The stress can come from worrying if they are cheating or simply trying to make plans that always fall through. Fries don’t require much planning, just a plan on how to get them.
According to the Palo Alto Medical Foundation’s website, “there are 50 thousand fast food places in the United States alone, the majority serving fries.”
Getting fries would be easy if you don’t want to take the time to make them. Unlike trying to retain plans with a boyfriend.
Boyfriends require attention which in turn, takes more of your energy. Debby Herbenick Ph.D., M.P.H. with “Psychology Today” says that you need to be aware of your partner’s need for attention and how much attention they require. This can be exhausting especially if you have lots of homework, a job or just don’t really feel like it. Fries, however, don’t need any attention that you don’t want to give. French fries actually do you a favor by satisfying your hunger. There is no stress with fries because there is almost no effort involved except for the chewing you do to eat them. Fries will not ask for sex, attention or rides, like a boyfriend may. Fries will just simply be there when you want them.
“Sixty percent of teens in relationships plan to break up with their significant other before college,” according to the online source ‘Stages Of Life’.
That bleak statistic is just one more reason french fries are better than boyfriends. Ninety- eight percent of fries that you have will end in a positive way, in your stomach. The other two percent will simply fall to the floor or a friend will snatch one from you. Knowing that french fries are completely under your control and will end on your terms is a more comforting thought than knowing you will eventually lose your boyfriend and not necessarily in a way you prefer.
It could be said that boyfriends will provide introductions into romantic relationships. However, in the teen years and young adult life, romantic relationships can detract from necessary education and self love.
The website Do Something says, “Teen girls that have a negative view of themselves are 4 times more likely to take part in activities with boys that they’ve ended up regretting later.”
This shows that girls need to take more time for themselves and less time worrying about boys. By instead taking up a healthy relationship with french fries, they can focus on themselves and take a great feeling of relief knowing that a boyfriend isn’t another obstacle they will have to worry about. The only obstacles on their mind will be education, their health and those golden, crispy, lightly salted fried potato sticks.
If it ever comes down to it, know that fries will be the better option than a boyfriend. Fries will always be on your terms and won’t add to your stress. They are only there for you, whenever you want them. Realistically you could have a boyfriend and fries, but the complications that come with having a boyfriend is not worth it yet.